...and all through the house, Mommy was panicked and Daddy was quiet as a mouse.
Oh glory. Tomorrow morning, I will wake up, shower, get dressed, hope in the mini and head the hospital, all while quietly panicking inside. This isn't my first trip to the rodeo. This is my fourth labor & delivery but each one has had its own set of circumstances that seem to make it scary rather than exciting for me. Maybe it's that "Debbie Downer" thing I'm so good at or maybe I'm just normal. I'd like to think I'm normal. At 8:30am cst, I'm going to be in an operating room. I've never had a c-section before but with twins, it seems to be the safest and more controlled environment for them. I've gotten a lot of great advice and I'm trying to stay calm but let's face it. A Dr. (and mine is awesome) will be cutting through my gut. How on God's green earth am I supposed to not have anxiety about that one? Yikes! Is it wrong or just plain sad that I'm so wrapped up in that one fact that I haven't even worried about the babies health? I really don't get a bad feeling about the baby boys. Each doctor has been extremely happy with their growth and development. Of course, anything is possible but so far, so good.
The three big kids have been packed up and shipped off to their Nana's house. We tucked them in, read "I Love You More than Rainbows," said our prayers, passed out "kissing hands" and we were off. Being away from the kids is one of the hardest parts of this whole process. The husband and I do treat the hospital stay as a mini vacay but nothing is the same without the chaos of the munchkins and their random hugs & kisses throughout the day. They get me through any storm.
Now, I try to sleep. Yea right. Is that even possible? I'll probably wake up repeatedly in cold sweats and the shakes. I already have terrible pain from a kidney stone that decided to make a move at the worst possible time. Yay me. I keep reminding myself that I will get through this. I have the good Lord holding one hand and my husband holding the other. I will make it through. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
Pray my friends. Pray for peace, calm, healthy newborns, an uncomplicated surgery, quick (and relatively painless) recovery and for the transition home to be seamless.
I am going to bed tonight with three blessings. I will go to bed tomorrow night with five. God chose us to be a large family even though we didn't dream it. Now, we get the privilege of discovering each day why He chose us. I pray I never take His gift for granted.
Now.....will we ever name these kids? Hmmm....
March 18, 2015
March 11, 2015
36 weeks
36 weeks...today
Why is it that when you don't want something to come quickly, it seems to come at a record speed. Eight days. Eight days as a family of five. Eight days until we meet our twin boys. Eight days until our world changes completely.
When the three littles got in the mini to go to school, they were chanting, "Eight days! Eight days!" It does feel great to see them excited. They each have a different view of having two brothers. Eli (3) loves on my tummy throughout the day and puts aside matchbox cars for them. Nora (6) is proud. She learned to tie shoes and loves that her new job is tying my shoes in the morning. She wants to be a helper. Win-win. Ava is excited to love more. She has a wise take on everything. I can learn from all of them. I don't know what I would do without these three and the support and prayers they have given to me. They may be small but they pray big for their Mommy.
I had two doctor appointments yesterday, something I have become so used to that after this process is over, I will probably be in doctor withdrawal. I had my last high risk appointment where we learned that Baby A is 6lb 3 oz and Baby B is 6lb 9oz. Dr. L said, "I couldn't ask for more perfect twins at this point." Relief to hear when so much could have gone wrong. I have no idea how my body can hold such big babies time and time again. My uterus must be like Elastigirl. We like em' big! Fat + happy = good sleepers. Realizing that this appointment was my last made it all feel so imminent. That nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you realize that everything is about to go topsy turvy...I had it. Next, it was on to my ob/gyn for my weekly stress test. Baby A was calm as usual and Baby B was wild and crazy. They are already showing their individual personalities. Again, it was an appointment that left me feeling weak in the knees as I walked out because the more detailed conversations of what will be happening in a little over a week had to be discussed. Maybe it is best if I don't know. Yikes!
In August, 2014, this is what we were shown and in an instant, the shock set in, which I can say hasn't gone anywhere.
This is what 36 weeks and 13 pounds of baby looks like. It is HEAVY!!! Being pregnant is hard on anyone, whether you are carrying 1 or more children. It definitely feels different with two human beings in this tummy. When they are both moving, it is just a boxing ring in there. I get really exhausted after just a few small errands and move at a snails pace. My legs always feel heavy as if I have sand bags instead of feet. Sleep? What sleep. If I lay on one side, the baby on the bottom goes bananas and is yelling "Get off of me brother!" I turn over and then the other baby says, "Stop touching me!" It is an all night cycle.
See this couple. They are 20/21 and absolutely oblivious to how easy they have it. They are crazy about each other and can't wait to start a life together but they have no idea that they will one day be embarking on the most rewarding and challenging adventure of their lives. Five kids! Who would or can ever predict that one! It will be a circus. It's a good thing the circus is fun and colorful!
Why is it that when you don't want something to come quickly, it seems to come at a record speed. Eight days. Eight days as a family of five. Eight days until we meet our twin boys. Eight days until our world changes completely.
When the three littles got in the mini to go to school, they were chanting, "Eight days! Eight days!" It does feel great to see them excited. They each have a different view of having two brothers. Eli (3) loves on my tummy throughout the day and puts aside matchbox cars for them. Nora (6) is proud. She learned to tie shoes and loves that her new job is tying my shoes in the morning. She wants to be a helper. Win-win. Ava is excited to love more. She has a wise take on everything. I can learn from all of them. I don't know what I would do without these three and the support and prayers they have given to me. They may be small but they pray big for their Mommy.
I had two doctor appointments yesterday, something I have become so used to that after this process is over, I will probably be in doctor withdrawal. I had my last high risk appointment where we learned that Baby A is 6lb 3 oz and Baby B is 6lb 9oz. Dr. L said, "I couldn't ask for more perfect twins at this point." Relief to hear when so much could have gone wrong. I have no idea how my body can hold such big babies time and time again. My uterus must be like Elastigirl. We like em' big! Fat + happy = good sleepers. Realizing that this appointment was my last made it all feel so imminent. That nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you realize that everything is about to go topsy turvy...I had it. Next, it was on to my ob/gyn for my weekly stress test. Baby A was calm as usual and Baby B was wild and crazy. They are already showing their individual personalities. Again, it was an appointment that left me feeling weak in the knees as I walked out because the more detailed conversations of what will be happening in a little over a week had to be discussed. Maybe it is best if I don't know. Yikes!
In August, 2014, this is what we were shown and in an instant, the shock set in, which I can say hasn't gone anywhere.
Now, we have two grown boys, heads down and together. I can't help but look at this picture and wonder if they are already communicating to each other in some way.
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| 2001 - University of Mobile |
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| 2015 |
