...and all through the house, Mommy was panicked and Daddy was quiet as a mouse.
Oh glory. Tomorrow morning, I will wake up, shower, get dressed, hope in the mini and head the hospital, all while quietly panicking inside. This isn't my first trip to the rodeo. This is my fourth labor & delivery but each one has had its own set of circumstances that seem to make it scary rather than exciting for me. Maybe it's that "Debbie Downer" thing I'm so good at or maybe I'm just normal. I'd like to think I'm normal. At 8:30am cst, I'm going to be in an operating room. I've never had a c-section before but with twins, it seems to be the safest and more controlled environment for them. I've gotten a lot of great advice and I'm trying to stay calm but let's face it. A Dr. (and mine is awesome) will be cutting through my gut. How on God's green earth am I supposed to not have anxiety about that one? Yikes! Is it wrong or just plain sad that I'm so wrapped up in that one fact that I haven't even worried about the babies health? I really don't get a bad feeling about the baby boys. Each doctor has been extremely happy with their growth and development. Of course, anything is possible but so far, so good.
The three big kids have been packed up and shipped off to their Nana's house. We tucked them in, read "I Love You More than Rainbows," said our prayers, passed out "kissing hands" and we were off. Being away from the kids is one of the hardest parts of this whole process. The husband and I do treat the hospital stay as a mini vacay but nothing is the same without the chaos of the munchkins and their random hugs & kisses throughout the day. They get me through any storm.
Now, I try to sleep. Yea right. Is that even possible? I'll probably wake up repeatedly in cold sweats and the shakes. I already have terrible pain from a kidney stone that decided to make a move at the worst possible time. Yay me. I keep reminding myself that I will get through this. I have the good Lord holding one hand and my husband holding the other. I will make it through. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.
Pray my friends. Pray for peace, calm, healthy newborns, an uncomplicated surgery, quick (and relatively painless) recovery and for the transition home to be seamless.
I am going to bed tonight with three blessings. I will go to bed tomorrow night with five. God chose us to be a large family even though we didn't dream it. Now, we get the privilege of discovering each day why He chose us. I pray I never take His gift for granted.
Now.....will we ever name these kids? Hmmm....
