I don't want to move.  I'm worried.  Worried that Kevin is being pushed into something for someone else's benefit, that we aren't thinking about what is best for the kids and it is a whole lot of trouble for a year or two.  I'd rather Kevin just work the job from here, move across the bay as planned and allow the kids to grow up in a school, developing relationships along the way.  Honestly, I love our home and living in west Mobile.  Kevin wants to be closer to work, which I understand so I've agreed to move across the bay but 4 hours away?  It is stripping me of all joy and making it extremely difficult to just put one foot in front of the other.  Ava's first day at Taylor-White Elementary was overshadowed by this dark feeling.  When we went to Birmingham last weekend, it felt so foreign, crowded and I didn't like the fast pace of the bigger city.  I realized even more that nice restaurants and stores don't make a home.  Kevin doesn't realize the help that I have here and the extreme joy that family receives being able to spend time with the kids regularly, watching them grow and change at every turn.  I am surrounded by great friends, doctors that I trust and a pace of living that I enjoy...not to mention the beach.  If Kevin makes us go, I sure hope that this is a VERY temporary arrangement and I pray I can get a better attitude about it all.  As of now, I don't want anything to do with it and have a hard time being around Kevin because I feel like he is stripping me from all I know, love and what makes me me.